A HUGE lesson is being delivered to me today...well it is settling into my brain today...the lesson has been coming for some time now.  I have spent a lot of time thinking and sharing what I think.  I've spent some time becoming what I think about for some things but for the most part I'm still not quite to the 'being' part and am still living in the 'thinking' part of change.  However, I do embrace the changes that have occurred and know that more change is on the wind for me...a work in progress...

I have been changing for certain and most of that change is a direct result of making that subconscious or perhaps conscious decision to 'be' like I have been thinking we as humans need to be.  Today a situation has come up that is really demonstrating to me one of the myriad of ways that we can truly 'be' and live in the moment as we have all been discussing so much as of late.  This friend is faced with a medical situation and admits that she is frightened a bit as well as completely grossed out by the details of the procedure she is going to have.  I walked away thinking to myself that how she feels about the situation now is based on the choices she has made in the past about how she will perceive and approach things. Then it occurred to me that when we are faced with situations such as this in our lives and we are learning to change those things about ourselves that have been a detriment in the past shouldn't we take a moment and decide to approach it differently?  Then it occurred to me that if we would chose to percieve a traumatic or difficult or scary situation as an opportunity to handle it differently than we have before wouldn't it help us to achieve that which we are all trying so hard to achieve?

If we were to choose to take every opportunity we are presented with to make a shift in our way of going about things, to make a change to how we usually 'feel' about things, then are we not evolving ourselves?  Are we not blessing ourselves with growth?  I know I am presented every single day with many, many opportunities to make that shift within myself but I don't most of the time because I am not consciously considering another way to perceive and approach things.  Of course there are going to be those things where we are conscious of the change we need to make in our perception and handling of an issue but where we may not quite be ready yet to make that shift.  I believe that this is quite acceptable as change should not ever be forced upon us not even by ourselves.  Change is something that we do 'for' ourselves that blesses our lives and if we 'make' ourselves change, even if we know it is the best thing for us, then we are associating a negative energy with our change.  How can we embrace change and make it the norm for ourselves if we feel as if we are doing it under duress or force?  However, I do not see any reason not to at least consider perceiving and approaching situations differently when presented with them.  We can try and sometimes we can do...if we are determined then it will all come to be in it's own good time. 

In closing I just wanted to say that I have made a promise to myself to seize the opportunities as they come to perceive and to approach things not from what was my habit but from what can be my new habit.

Lately the Universe has been reminding me and reminding me of just how truly interrelated and connected EVERYTHING that exists is!  Last night as I relaxed with my loved ones in front of the television set a commercial came on that made me think of my childhood.  The commercial was showing many young people skating at a roller rink to fun upbeat hip-hop style music.  I started to remember how often I went to my local roller rink on a Saturday afternoon all through my youth and the fun I had there.  I remembered how I typically went alone to the rink and that even though I was alone when most other people were with friends that I never felt like an outsider.  My mind then started to do that thing it loves to do so well and that is to find the message or lesson in the experience still in my memory.

I started to remember how I would arrive get my skates and after standing on the sidelines for a few minutes would skate out onto the beautiful wood floor and join the others circling round and round and round the large highly polished skating surface.  I remembered so much about those lazy Saturday afternoons at the rink and the thought came into my mind that the Universe is pretty much like a roller rink. At first the idea seemed very silly to me but then I just kept thinking about it and the more I thought about it the more I realized that a roller rink and all that happens there is a wonderful metaphor for Life in general as in 'all that is'. 

First similarity is that some people stand on the sides of the rink and just watch while others actually skate.  Everyone is gathered in the same place seemingly for the same thing but yet not everyone is participating at the same level.  I see the same thing happening in life all around me.  There are some people out there who are waiting for this that or the other thing to happen while they work and toil and save and scrimp for that 'someday' when all of their hard work will pay off and they can enjoy the fruits of their labors.  To me those are the people on the outside of the rink parameters, but still at the rink, who are watching and little more.  These people may even watch the skaters and judge them for their playfulness seeing them as wasting their energy while they sit on the sidelines and 'wait'.  The skaters of course are those who are out there in 'it' living life as best they can...some to the fullest, some with all seriousness in a competitive spirit, some just learning 'how to', some truly at an advanced level of capability, some just cruising and enjoying it for the sake of enjoyment. 

I thought then about those skaters who choose to skate in the opposite direction even though everyone else is skating in the same direction.  These skaters go the 'wrong' way for a myriad of reasons.  Some may simply want to be 'different', some may feel obligated to be 'different', some may simply be having a great time and not really paying that close attention to the direction everyone else is skating in.   Of course the 'watchers' on the sidelines feel perfectly justified in pointing out that those people are skating the 'wrong way' and perceive them as troublemakers, ne'er-do-wells, lesser beings...  Again this is totally an accurate reflection of our modern society and how people can, if they so choose, view others.

Then there is the issue of those who fall down while skating.  It happens to everyone at some time and some people it happens to with more frequency than others.  There are those who fall down brush themselves off and go back to skating just as if they never fell.  Then there are those who fall down and get back up just long enough to carefully get themselves back on the sidelines and watch because they are so traumatized by the fall they don't want to risk falling again.  No doubt there are some standing on the sidelines who see someone fall down and don't ever venture out onto the floor because they want to avoid the pain and embarrassment of falling down...so they watch maybe even wondering what skating might be like but too afraid to try it.  Then there are my 'heroes' who may fall often or even infrequently who just fall down, get back up and go on their merry way just as happy after the fall than they were before it.  These people know that sometimes skaters fall down but that the joy of skating is so wonderful that no many how many times they may fall they are not going to stop skating because they derive so much joy from the 'feeling' of skating and perhaps even the 'risk' involved.  How much like life is this?     

The bottom line in my mind is that just like at a roller rink we are ALL at the same place with different agendas, different motivations, different perspectives, different expectations, different levels of participation and different levels of joy and satisfaction. How wonderful it might be if everyone felt the same exhiliration and joy that skating brings and would get out onto that floor no matter what the risk just for the sake of skating and the feeling of freedom and control that one gets when one really puts ones heart into it!  How wonderful it might be if everyone accepted the risk of falling but skated anyway without the expectation of falling and took each fall as a new lesson on how to skate!

I find myself in a position these days between two completely different schools of thought.  Actually between two completely different groups of people that think and believe in completely different ways.  One group, the group I identify with, believes that thought is the beginning to ALL things and that if we want change in our lives then all we must do is to change our thoughts.  The other group are those who believe that there is an omnipotent being that they refer to as God that is 'the creator' of everything and his nemesis Satan that control everything that happens to them.  Now I am NOT here to say that one view is correct and the other isn't.  That is not a judgement that I am comfortable making nor one that I feel is my place to make.  In fact the less judgement that becomes involved with anything to do with us beings the better in my opinion.  Suffice it to say there are two schools of thought and nothing further needs to be said of it.

I wanted today to speak to the group that I identify with and share my thoughts on just how powerful our thoughts are which of course makes us all very powerful beings.  I accept fully and am learning to live by the idea that EVERYTHING that is, EVERYTHING that happens, EVERYTHING that exists is the result of a thought.  Not the thoughts of one being but the thoughts of you, me and everyone/every living thing that exists.  When one truly sits down and begins to mull this idea over in ones mind, if one does so with an open and accepting mind, then one most certainly can begin to create a list of all of the things that are, that exist, simply as a result of our thoughts.  I started to make a short list, which I know no doubt will be incomplete because I can only see from my own perspective.  I am hoping in the sharing of my list others will explore the possibilities in their realities and will begin lists of their own.  Now this list making isn't just simply to say that we have a list and this is what is on it but the making of a list I feel is the first step to 'knowing' that our thoughts have omnipotent power and then hopefully inspires us to 'being' the omnipotent being that we all are and using our power for the advancement/evolution of ourselves and of all that exists.

The very first thing that occurred to me for this list was how our thoughts literally create who we are.  Some may believe that the person we are is at least partially the creation of our upbringing, genetics, our experiences and so on. But if one is honest one can truly see that regardless of our upbringing or genetics we are the sole proprietors of our thoughts and feelings and WE decide in the end who we are going to be.  So placing responsibility on one's parents or schoolmates or teachers or preachers or spouses or whatever doesn't really wash if one is traveling a true journey of self-discovery and is re-creating themselves according to what is in their best interest as well as, and this is important, in the best interest of the ONE/everyone else.  We can most certainly 'choose' to be influenced by others but we cannot put the responsibility of who we are, what we feel, what we think, what we do or what we say on others.  That is our decision even when we are fooling ourselves into thinking that we are as we are because of outside influences.

The second thing on my list was not too difficult to come up with since it seemed completely obvious to me...our physical being...our health.  There is a very wise cardiologist I saw speak once who has been exploring medicine along side transcendental meditation for about thirty years or so.  In his exploration of these two seemingly juxtaposed schools of thought he has discovered that people truly can heal themselves with their own thoughts (he uses this concept actively in his clinic where he literally helps people heal their cardiology issues by relaxation techniques and is quite successful with it).  Concurrently, he deduces that around 89% of the illnesses we humans suffer from today are a direct result of what and how we think.  Of course he's speaking of 'stress' and how it usually causes and then exacerbates our illnesses.  He is not suggesting that doctors are not needed.  He is merely suggesting that a vast majority of the maladies we humans suffer are a direct result of what and how we think!  He also suggests that less pharmaceuticals would be needed to cure us if we would but put our minds in a healthier state of being.  

Third thing on my list but by no means in third place in importance is how our thoughts determine our reality or at the very least our view of the world, of ourselves and of others.  Our thoughts, the thoughts we choose to think, do truly color our world.  We see EVERYTHING from our own unique perspective.  A perspective that WE choose even if we think it is set in stone as provided by society or by our parents or by our friends or by anything outside of ourselves.  Perspectives are so much easier to change than I think most people realize.  If we are perceiving something a certain way and find what we are looking at as wrong or aggravating or difficult then we ALL have the ability to change that perception and when we change our perception that thing for ever changes as if by a miracle.  How do we know if the perception we have chosen is a good one for us or not?  We simply step back and with an honest eye look at whether or not that perception is serving us well.  Does it cause us pain or suffering or aggravation or does it bring us peace or joy or fulfill us?  Does it seem to be holding us back from personal growth or does it support our personal growth?  If we are honest with ourselves we will find that some, if not most, of the perceptions that we grew up with that we are living our lives by today...that we learned from our parents or society or friends or whatever...do not serve us well and that as long as we continue to choose that perception our world will not change but will continue to be a detriment to our well being or at the very least is the cause of our not being able to move on in life.  

As I stated in the beginning I'm sure my list is truly short and incomplete and I know I'll think of more and more and more things to add to it as time goes on but it's a beginning and it's making me think...what I think is going to become who I am...who I am becomes what part I play in the grand scheme of things and determines what blessings the Universe will bestow upon me.

For anyone who might say this is all hogwash and that what we think is of no consequence or has no power I put this 'thought' forward.  EVERYTHING we do from breathing, to eating, to speaking, to walking, to sitting, to seeing...EVERYTHING we physically or mentally do begins with a single thought.  We may not realize the thought is there because for the most part the thoughts that cause our bodies to work like they do are created and come from our subconscious.  But regardless of where the thought comes from or is created it is still a thought that makes our body work when we need it to.  If one looks at it there are a fair share of illnesses that cause our bodies not to follow the subconscious orders it is being given...in all cases that I'm aware of these illnesses are the result of a loss of signal from the part of the brain that creates the thought and the part of the body that carries out the 'order' from the brain.  THOUGHTS...ALL of it to do with thoughts.

I have absolutely no qualms with taking it all one tiny bit step further and asking the question of whether the Universe came first or our consciousness did.  I have to wonder if our thoughts are so powerful and can do and create all that they do could not our thoughts (our collective consciousness) also be the creator of everything physical?  Everything physical is ALL made up of energy, that is basic science stuff.  So then if it is all energy some thought somewhere at some point had to have existed that determined just what different shapes this energy would take...why could we not be that 'thought'...that creator?  For are we not God and God is us?  Are we not the creators of our very own every day lives?  Are we not the inventors of all of the technology that exists in this world today?  What says that this is impossible?  Beliefs?  Tradition?  Society?  Is it not Us who decides what to believe?  Is it not Us who create our traditions?  Is in not Us that is society?  So then how much further would one have to 'leap' to consider that we are the creators of it ALL and that it all begins with that tiny seed of a thought? In my opinion this concept of our having created all that is or ever was or ever will be through our collective consciousness does not take anything away from our traditional ways of believing that God created the Universe.  All it does is to make that connection between what we may perceive as God and the beings that we are much more viable, real and vital.  I see it as a way for us to finally make that true, deep and everlasting connection with all that is.  

Translating life.  Odd subject matter...maybe not making sense to anyone.  Is it a statement?  Is it a question?  Is it even possible?  What the hell does it mean?

I wanted to write today about translating external data from the perspective of others into something that jives more closely to our own chosen perspective, path and beliefs.  So many times I've found that what I write/say when it leaves my fingertips/mouth becomes warped, misunderstood or incorrectly 'translated' by the recipient.  Concurrently I know that I have mis-translated/misinterpreted what others have written/said and created misunderstanding where they should be understanding.  I think what happens, at least with me, is that I read/hear what another has written/read through my own filter/perspective and can often make a snap judgment of their intended meaning before really 'translating' what they are trying to express into my own internal language of understanding.  This occurs frequently for me it seems so I have no doubt that others too have the same 'translation', or rather lack of 'translation', process that I do since we are all human.

Interestingly enough I owe this recent revelation about 'translating' the thoughts/words/intentions of others into my own preferred language of understanding to the legend Stevie Wonder who I was fortunate enough to have been gifted a concert event of last evening.  The concert began with Stevie walking out on stage and beginning to speak of his love for all of us and how he could feel our love.  He spoke of everything in terms of love.  I was washed over with such a loving embrace by his words and carried away to a place where I love to spend most of my time...feeling, talking about and sharing the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others...LOVE.  He expressed his deep gratitude for the love and support of others since he lost his beloved mother last year.  He spoke of how this tour was his way of saying thank you to everyone and his opportunity to give some of that love back by sharing the gift that God had given him.  Very beautiful, very much in line with my own heart, very welcome were his words but moreso his expression of love.  It was palatable, his love.  I could feel it eminating from the stage in waves and with all my might I reflected it back to him.

I was in heaven absolute paradise...until he sang his first song of the show 'Love's in Need of Love Today' once my most favorite song until I had started to shift my perceptions of the state of world from lack to abundance.  The words of the song speak of hate going round breaking every heart and urges everyone to send their love right away.  I had listened and sang along with that song for so long with emotions that brought tears to my eyes and then when I decided to shift my focus of the world from lack to abundance I stopped listening to the song because in my view it came from a place of lack and only asked for abundance.  Knowing that what we focus on, where we are coming from, attracts more of the same to us I didn't want to focus on the hate in the world anymore but wanted to focus on all the love that is there and envision millions, if not billions, of people loving one another in the most generous amazing ways into the deepest darkest corners of the world.  I didn't feel that the sentiment of the song served this vision I have and was trying in some small part to manifest into a shining reality of what 'is' rather than what 'can be'.  I felt that if I was singing those words coming from lack that I was looking to a future of what can be rather than existing in the possibility of what is now.  It was a dilemma truly and I felt torn in the beginning and even sad that I might not share the view of such an ambassador of love as Stevie Wonder is to the world.  I had the judgmental view that he was coming from a place I could not and didn't want to share...it saddened me.  I've held that same view for months as I continue to evolve spiritually and shape my focus of my self and the world so that I can truly 'be' the change that I want to see in the world. 

Last night Stevie went on to another song that I can't recall the title of, another song about love and peace, where he ended up shouting 'STOP THE HATE' 'STOP THE WAR'.  Everyone around me gladly jumped on the bandwagon their arms flailing in the air in agreement, their voices shouting out, clapping their hands applauding his message...agreeing with it.  At first my heart sank.  I felt instantly as if I was surrounded by people looking at the world through a vision of hatred for the hate mongers, through a vision of lack of love not abundance of love.  I didn't feel a part of it.  I was saddened and felt out of synch with Stevie and those who cheered his pleading if not angry words on.  I had to do something as I refused to allow myself to feel alienated from these people who just a few moments ago I had felt one with.  Then I decided to 'translate' their intentions/emotions into something that did go in line with my path and my own evolution.  It was an amazing moment of revelation and immediately when Stevie shouted 'STOP THE HATE' I heard/felt/expressed 'BEGIN TO LOVE', when he shouted 'STOP THE WAR' I heard/felt/expressed 'LIVE IN PEACE'.  The transformation of my perception of the message and my feelings toward it was astonishing as I continued to 'translate' what his words were into what I knew were the intention of his words/feelings.  I know that words are transitory...what a word means to one of us does not always mean the same thing to another.  That is natural and to ask everyone to share the same meaning of all the words we speak seems controlling somehow, even authoritative in nature.  It goes squarely against everything I believe in that we all have our own path, are traveling at our own pace and all have things to learn along the way.  I can't express the huge relief I felt knowing that I can translate what others say and even feel into something that brings us together rather than separates us.  I know now that I have a new and very useful tool to truly 'allow' others to be as they are without judgement and without feeling I must simply avoid associating with them because their view, their focus, is so alien from my own that I cannot bear to suffer them.

So now it is my job to translate everything around me, everything that is, in such a way as to honor the diversity that we are.  I know that I can eliminate those judgmental little thoughts and feelings that come to me whenever I hear someone say, 'It's impossible' or 'That'll never happen' or 'The world is going to hell in a handbasket' or any one of an infinite number of statements that come from someone else's chosen belief.  I feel now that I can translate that into an affirmation of my own that whatever their desired outcome of their expectations are they are positive in nature, well intentioned and come from a good heart that only wants the best for themselves and for the world.

What a happy thought to realize that everyone else is speaking my language and all I have to do is to translate a bit to make it work for me and keep me living in hope for the ONE. 

Something just occurred to me that I had never really considered before.  Maybe the right comment at the right time just hadn't come into my experience before but just the right thing was put before me a moment ago that gave me one of those lightbulb moments.  I just love those moments!

We all know people who have tragic rememberances from their past of traumatic and sometimes life altering events or maybe we have tragic rememberances of traumatic events in our own lives.  In my experience a vast majority of these events involved someone else and more often than not the someone else somehow became the villain at some point either in the mind of the 'victim' or by the villains own deed.  Regardless most everyone has at least one traumatic event in their past where another person remains hated, resented or blamed for all or part of the event.  Sometimes the hatred and resentment for this other person who is to blame for suffering becomes a life long commitment to the people who feel they have been victimized and ends up being the source of the perceived victims problems, fears, dislikes and perspective throughout a lifetime.  There are those that absolutely consciously refuse to even entertain the idea of forgiving the villain in their lives and the very mention of doing so can spark intense anger toward anyone who would even suggest that the villain deserved forgiveness.  The person suggesting forgiveness is typically viewed by the 'victim' as a cold-hearted, uncaring person who just simply does not understand the suffering the 'victim' has gone through (sometimes suffering over an entire lifetime from one single shortlived event) at the hands of this villain.

Fortunately some people figure out that if they don't forgive the villain in their life they will for ever continue to be victimized by this other person or actually by the memory of what this other person has done to them.  This is the first step to healing a wound that only the wounded can heal.  It is unfortunate that we exist in a society that seems to encourage remembering the tragedies and harboring intense hatred and resentment toward the villain(s) involved.  Because of this societal attitude most people just don't realize that when we forgive someone it is not to ease their conscience but to ease our own suffering.  The emotional transformation that we experience when we forgive another for a real or perceived transgression against us, no matter how traumatic, is amazing.  It is immediate and it is uplifting.  It feels like being freed from a prison of the heart, soul and mind.  It is an experience that brings strength where weakness once rienged joy where sadness once lived and relief where suffering once ruled.  Maybe the word forgiveness or it's meaning needs to be changed.  Maybe we need to come up with a new word and definition for setting ourselves free from the self-imposed prison of holding onto a memory of something that once caused us so much pain by holding onto the hatred for the people or person we hold responsible for that pain.  Maybe a new word and definition that would encourage people to experience the emotional freedom we get from forgiving others.

We also need to remember to forgive ourselves.  Guilt and regret.  Guilt and regret are our own self-imposed hatred and resentment for those mistakes we have made, for those things we have done knowingly or unknowingly to others.  We can cause ourselves as much pain and suffering over prolonged periods of time, even entire lifetimes, as someone else who we perceive as the villain can.  Self-forgiveness is in my experience the first step to healing old wounds that we keep open and festering by constantly viewing ourselves as lesser or unworthy beings because of something we did or said, a mistake we made, a transgression against another or just simply using poor judgement.  The funny (odd) thing about us humans is that then we have done something that we deem requires forgiveness we always seem to look to the person we feel we have wronged to forgive us and we feel guilty until they do.  Given the concept that when we forgive someone else it is something that we do for ourselves and not for them this seems a bit odd.  I guess when you think about it...forgiveness no matter who we are forgiving, ourselves or someone else, is always going to be for us.  So that should tell us that we are our own caretakers and that it is we who should be and must be the only one who can administer the healing 'medicine' of forgiveness for whatever ails us.

When I think about the concept of forgiveness coming from another person or being for another person to ease their conscience it shouts out to me that as long as we hold others responsible for our own feelings we are lost.  When we cannot or refuse to forgive another being we aren't hurting them, which of course is our deepest darkest motive for holding onto that resentment and hatred for them, but we are only causing damage to ourselves.  We are keeping the 'event' or 'events' alive that first caused us to feel we were victims of another persons actions or words...some of us keep it alive for ever...for an entire lifetime and we never get to begin the healing process...which begins with FORGIVENESS.

Now there are those who say, "Well you can forgive but you can never forget."  I beg to differ.  Having just given some thought to 'letting things go' in relation to forgiveness I realized that in essence I have forgotten things that used to live right there in the forefront of my heart, mind and soul.  Before I learned to forgive myself and others past events were alive in my mind always being revived frequently through the telling of my 'stories' to others.  Living healthily, or rather unhealthily, right there in my mind and emotions every single day as I shared my sad stories of all of the bad things that have happened to me.  I infused new life into these traumatic events each time I shared the story of my 'victimization' with someone new.  They used to live a pretty good life these memories of traumatic events and I supported them with every fiber of my being as I went from person to person looking for enough attention, enough pity, enough love to begin to heal.  When I think back on how often I used to share my stories, and I had a LOT of them to share too, it's no wonder I used to feel like such a loser...such a victim...like I needed to hold everyone else at an arm's length because they just might be the next villain to vicitimize me. Oh boy did I love to tell those stories...back then...back before I learned quite possibly the most valuable tool in my 'survival toolbox'...forgiveness.  So as time has passed and I have forgiven so many for so much, including myself of course, I've come to realize just now that in a very huge way I have forgotten those stories.  Oh yes the memory still exists way deep down in the hard drive of my mind were all memory is stored but the memory no longer has life in it and is simply a few bytes of information stored in my 'experience' file.  I know without a doubt that if not for the forgiveness these stories/memories would still be living the high life partying like hell in my heart and destroying the home of my soul...being loud obnoxious and smashing the place up never really ever giving me the opportunity to make repairs or have peace.  In fact I have to think back really, really, really hard to even access some of those memories of pain and suffering and feeling victimized.  I know I've probably forgotten many of the stories I've told over and over and over for so many years and as I sit here now I can't remember even one I would want to share with anyone else.  They are dead to me...gone...forgiven and forgotten for ever replaced by the gratitude for what the experience taught me.  Those lessons are the only part of the memory to live on.

So yes I am here to tell everyone that you can forget but not unless you forgive first.  Yes it might take time because as humans we do not go quietly into any good night but always put up a bit of a struggle when shifting paradigms from the old to the new.  It really is time to let go and find the freedom of spirit that we all so richly deserve.  Where there is no forgiveness there is no healing and where there is no healing there is always pain.  We are not here for pain.  Oh yes we experience it and whether we think it is or not pain is there to tell us not to do/experience that thing again if we can help it, pain is there to tell us something is wrong and needs to be repaired, pain is there to let us know we are heading in the wrong direction...but pain is not meant to be our life or even a big part of our life.  It's a directional tool not a home to live in.

So the lesson here is not to forgive and forget but to forgive so you will forget.  We all deserve so much better than we treat ourselves.  In fact we teach everyone around us how to treat us by who we decide to be how we decide to act and what we allow others to impose upon us...how do you want to be treated?  

Talkin' the talk...hey that's waaaaay easy and what I've been doing in an effort to shift from talking to walking the walk.  It's happening slowly but surely and as long as it's happening I'm good with that...in fact I'm really GOOD with that.  If you'd told me ten years ago that I'd be thinking the way that I think today I would've probably laughed at you (behind your back of course) because I would've been thinking that it would be a cold day in hell before I'd start spouting any of that mumbo jumbo new age crap and that I prefer to live in the 'real world'.  Well that was then and this is now and I can't even begin to express just how happy I am that I have changed and continue to change.   Of course it's not mumbo jumbo new age crap unless one is still tied to the societal idea of what is real and what is not.  But I'm learning and beginning to truly accept that it isn't about who is right and who is wrong or about who is evolving and who isn't but it's so much more about each of our individual journeys through this existence we call life.  I'm making the shift little by little, based on what is best for me emotionally, to be okay with those who are still struggling with society stuff who are still living and thinking in terms of limitations rather than possibilities, who are still holding grudges, keeping score, feeling fearful, being paranoid, feeling undeserving and all of that stuff that goes along with todays society's idea of 'reality'.  Oh yeah I still can get that thought in my head when coming in contact with someone who isn't shifting; the thought of judgment of how uninformed and out of touch with themselves they are.  That's the only way I can learn to move out of that place of judgment and into a place of acceptance.  Life is very, very much a 'learn by doing' prospect I'm discovering and if I don't experience the kind of thinking I want to move away from how can I ever really move away from it? 
 

I have come to a place where I can't imagine ever not having to stop a thought I know isn't going to serve me well and shift to a different thought.  I never get upset with myself when it happens because as long as I'm catching myself and shifting that thought to something that makes me feel better about who I am and how I'm connecting with the rest of the ONE I feel like I'm on the right track.  There may come a time in a life near or far into the future when those thoughts will never occur in my mind and all of my thoughts will begin as the being of light that I am but I'm not really concerned with the future and am only concerned with the now.  This moment I am evolving and for all I know this entire existence, this entire infinite existence with no beginning and no end, is evolution period...no goal, no heaven, no hell, no enlightenment...just pure unadulterated evolution as we grow infinitely for all time.

The Universe reminded me today that I am a being of light...that we are all beings of light...and that I can do anything...I can manifest whatever life for myself that I feel I deserve.  I sometimes forget that and as the Universe so aptly reminded me today that as we grow from newborns to adulthood there are many who have forgotten what we 'really' are at the very core of our being and who have forgotten what we 'really' are capable of creating and those who have forgotten feel it is their duty to make us forget too.  The great news is that no matter what we forget it can be remembered and if it can be remembered it can be recaptured and if it can be recaptured it can be experienced.  The warm feeling that knowledge gives me inside radiates throughout my being lifting me up and changing my day from ordinary to extraordinary...which I understand in this very moment that my existence is meant to be...an extraordinary life lived by an extraordinary being with an extraordinary knack for creating...

I sincerely hope all who wander here and read this blog can do so with an open heart and mind and perhaps just for a moment will at least consider the possibilties.  Once the possibilities are considered just maybe there will be a glimmer of hope and knowledge that this Universe we all exist in, that just maybe we have all created, has infinite possibility for one and for all and that just maybe the next thought might not be of what we want to do but believe we can't/can't have but will be of what we want to do/have right this moment. 

Perhaps a blessing upon ourselves for all that we have already created and if what we have created isn't exactly what we'd like it to be then we have the infinite power to create something different.

It may feel strange at first to take that leap of faith and to leave the 'reality' that society wants us to buy into but as we take those small or large steps toward knowing and understanding our own personal power to create things happen...you may not notice them at first and you may even ignore them thinking them mere coincidences but try to begin to see the signs.  Try to see that you created it simply by the thought of it existing in your life and from the joy of knowing just how truly deserving you are of having every hearts desire you've ever had no matter what you may not have done or may have done yesterday...  Each moment we embark upon is a brand new unspoiled moment and it's entirely up to us to decide how we are going to live it...  It really is ALL up to us no matter who else is involved what they are saying or doing or what circumstances might be.  A tiny shift in 'thought' can change an entire lifetime...think about it...no really think about it. 

Wow what a day it's been...what a strange last few days it's been.  Some say that Mercury is in retrograde and that is why things seem so hectic, frantic and emotionally stimulating.  I don't know if Mercury being in retrograde is the cause but I've noticed it all around me and I've experienced a bit of it myself regardless of how much I've tried to keep an even keel emotionally.  All in all it's been a fairly amazing last few days with highs and lows and more highs.  It has been an experience for certain and I will take from it only the best and leave behind the rest. 

Lots of new discoveries in the last week or so for me.  One new discovery was a quote that I can't help but treasure that came from the most unusual place...an animated film.  I was watching The Incredibles with my husband this last Sunday and one of the characters, a likable fiesty little woman who designs and creates costumes for superheroes named Edna, said the most amazing thing.  When asked to remember something negative that had happened in the past her response was, "I never look back darling, it distracts from the now!"  Something in that comment struck home hard and I decided it was a quote well worth repeating, sharing and keeping.  How true it is that looking back surely distracts from the now.  A friend commented that we might want to look back to the joyful things in life but the way I see it is that we should keep the emotions from those joyful experiences alive in us always and so there would be no need to reflect on the actual even that created them.  No for me looking to the past has no useful purpose for me and neither does looking to the future.  The future will always be unknown so how does looking forward serve us if we are looking into something that has not yet happened.  The now...that is where we need to be looking.  For isn't what we think/feel/do/say right now become the future in the next millisecond?  So I feel that the now is where we need to reside in order to manifest the best possible future for ourselves.  The next moment in anyone's life hinges upon what they do/say/think/feel in this moment...so this moment is the key moment right?  Besides this moment is truly the only moment that we have domain over.  We can't change what has already happened and we can guarantee what is going to happen in the future.  Makes perfect sense to me.

Another discovery...that Everything Works Out Perfectly (EWOP)...every single time.  Now if one is perceiving 'perfect' as only positive then perhaps one may not subscribe to this notion of EWOP.  I feel that everything that happens is perfect because whatever happens is something that we attracted to ourselves, that we needed to happen, so that we may grow spiritually.  I keep forgetting though that everything does work out perfectly and keep getting anxious whenever I am in the middle of a situation.  I am a service coordinator.  I schedule service technicians that work on boilers.  Emergencies crop up a lot and sometimes we've already scheduled our service technicians for the next week or so...so when emergencies crop up at times it can be a bit stressful figuring out how to make everyone happy.  Sometimes I can feel the stress and the urgency when a customer needs our services but then it ALWAYS works out just as if it was meant to work out that way.  People cancel, people are open to moving their scheduled service call to another day...it just always works out...each and every time without exception.  I should know by now not to feel stress or urgency over it.  I'll learn in time and know I'm getting better at it every single day.

One last noteworthy discovery I suppose is that I cannot control others.  I can't control what others think, feel or say or how they perceive themselves and the Universe around them.  In addition to not being able to control them I most certainly should not judge them for who they are or what they think or what they say.  Yesterday I learned a lesson that I'm still processing.  A co-worker made a comment about irresponsible people when discussing finances and I'm afraid I kind of snapped at him reminding him that judging people for that wasn't right because he has no way of knowing other people's circumstances.  He's one of those who won't allow his wife to handle the finances and pinches pennies today saving for a rainy day.  He most certainly lives coming from a place of lack and expected lack rather then from a place of abundance and expected future abundance.  This co-worker is a very outspoken and highly judgemental person who would much rather go back to the day when men were men and women were subservient.  He is constantly calling people stupid and calling them derrogatory names.  I guess I just snapped and ended up snapping at him.  Anyhow I calmed down later and started to think that I was judging him no differently than he judges others.   So there was my lesson!

Today is my first entry in my journal here at Zaadz.  I will keep this one short and sweet and say that I am truly looking forward to getting to know many, many, many, many other people who like me are realizing their own power to manifest not only a better life for themselves but to help create a better world where ALL will know their own power to create the life they so richly deserve.

I have learned so much from so many and have been blessed to have shared what I've learned and implemented with others.  This existence is truly a blessing to us all.